I listened in as my 5 year old son and his best friend discussed plans to build their dream car when they grow up. They discussed in detail about how their car would be a race car with flames shooting out, etc. Then the friend added, "And we should get a regular car too, you know, so we can do errands and stuff."

I overheard some neighborhood kids playing hide-n-seek. First kid: "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. . . Ready or not, here I come!" Second Kid: "I'm not ready!" Kid #1: [counts again] "Ready or not, here I come." Kid #2: "I'm not ready!" Kid #1: [counts for a third time] "Ready or not here I come!" Kid #2: "I'm not ready!" Kid #1: "Well, that's it! I'm coming anyway!"

Out with my son, a lady asks how old he is. I say he is 3 and my son says, "Tell her I'm almost 4." He is actually 3-and-a-half.

My four year old son looked at me and said, "Mom, you would be much prettier if you erased those lines on your face."

My 5 1/2 year old asked me, "How does the baby get out when you don't make it to the hospital in time?" Trying to buy some time for a proper answer, I said, "I don't know." Exasperated, he said, "You SHOULD know, you had two kids."

One evening when my son was four, I explained that he would have to wait for his bedtime story until after I finished nursing his sister. Growing impatient, he replied, "Just unplug her!"

Gritting his teeth and scowling, my 4-year-old son made it very clear that he was unhappy about something. "Mom, I DO NOT like the magic wand you gave me." Me: "Why not?" Him: "It doesn't work."

My mother-in-law asked me, "Where are your thongs?" Me: (taken aback) "Why?" Her: "I want to flip the bacon."

My daughter, during her religion class as they discussed Lent and prepared for Ash Wednesday, became pretty upset, which struck the teacher as odd. The teacher asked her what was wrong and she said that she was upset that today was burning of the palms. "Why do we have to burn our hands???"

I usually buy sausage patties or bacon for Sunday breakfast. I accidentally picked up a package of the sausage links, instead of the patties. While I was placing the sausage links on the griddle, my 9 yr old son walks over and says, "Oh yeah! You bought sausage lincolns. I haven't had those forever and I like lincolns better than the patties".