Hubby misplaced his cell phone, so he rings it from landline. It rings in the den. He brings it back to the kitchen looking sincerely surprised and says: "I've got a missed call! I'm going to check who called."

Hubby complementing me on a new haircut: "You look beautiful! Your other haircut really didn't suit you. In fact, it looked terrible!"

Why couldn't he just stop at "you look beautiful"???

My husband is fond of telling people that we have a "strange & wonderful relationship - she's strange and I'm wonderful." Boy, has he got that backwards!

A salesman asked us about where we are employed and I replied that I don't work outside the home. My husband piped up with, "And since you found Facebook, you don't work inside the home either!"

“Toss me a pen. I need to fill out your Valentine’s Day card.” Spoken by my hubby at 9:38 p.m. on February 14.

I called my husband to tell him I ran out of gas. His reply? "E does not stand for enough.”