My mother-in-law asked me, "Where are your thongs?" Me: (taken aback) "Why?" Her: "I want to flip the bacon."

I have two kids, and was on the phone with my mother-in-law, telling her that I had just met a mother of 5 who wanted another kid...
Me: "I don't know how she does it."
Mother-in-law: "Some mothers are capable, love."

“Here’s what you’re making,” spoken by my mother-in-law as she handed me a recipe as my “assignment” for Thanksgiving dinner.

After my son was born, my mother-in-law came to help out. I knew it was going to be a long week when I asked her to vacuum the living room and she replied, “Do you want me to vacuum side-to-side or back-and-forth?”

“It still fits!” declared by my friend’s mother-in-law as she entered her son’s wedding reception dressed in her own wedding dress.

When my husband got new glasses, his mother said, “I like your new glasses. They break up the monotony of your face.”