My four year old son looked at me and said, "Mom, you would be much prettier if you erased those lines on your face."
My 5 1/2 year old asked me, "How does the baby get out when you don't make it to the hospital in time?" Trying to buy some time for a proper answer, I said, "I don't know." Exasperated, he said, "You SHOULD know, you had two kids."
One evening when my son was four, I explained that he would have to wait for his bedtime story until after I finished nursing his sister. Growing impatient, he replied, "Just unplug her!"
Gritting his teeth and scowling, my 4-year-old son made it very clear that he was unhappy about something. "Mom, I DO NOT like the magic wand you gave me." Me: "Why not?" Him: "It doesn't work."
My mother-in-law asked me, "Where are your thongs?" Me: (taken aback) "Why?" Her: "I want to flip the bacon."
My daughter, during her religion class as they discussed Lent and prepared for Ash Wednesday, became pretty upset, which struck the teacher as odd. The teacher asked her what was wrong and she said that she was upset that today was burning of the palms. "Why do we have to burn our hands???"
I usually buy sausage patties or bacon for Sunday breakfast. I accidentally picked up a package of the sausage links, instead of the patties. While I was placing the sausage links on the griddle, my 9 yr old son walks over and says, "Oh yeah! You bought sausage lincolns. I haven't had those forever and I like lincolns better than the patties".
My 7 year old daughter, after I said "maybe" when she asked me if she could play on the computer later: "I think 'maybe' means 'no' in grown-up language."
My young daughter has heard me say that "I'll rest when I'm dead" on those days where there's so much to do and you are run ragged! At the mall one day, I said I wanted to rest, to which she (then 5) replied: "If you want to rest, you'd better hurry up and die then."
Dear Hubby to 5 year-old: "Do you know what I do?"
Dear Daughter: "You work in an office."
DH: "But do you know what I do at the office?"
DD: "Boring things."
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